Got Change?

I feel awful, and I know it’s a real silly thing to feel bad about. From the beginning, this wasn’t suppose to be a charming day. I had an interview this afternoon that I was not all too excited about, and I guess I paid for the lack of excitment with the events of my day.

I woke up this morning with an outfit in mind. Planned out the day with all kinds of mundane activities. Stretching, seasoning fish, calling a couple of folks, bitching at my phone company, as well as getting ready for the interview at a set time and meeting my "The Little Mexican" for lunch.

It started out well. Everything went according to plan except for the little pitfall. The clothes that I had picked out didn’t fit! I have gained a bit of “winter” weight. Of course I did not anticipate my clothing looking awkward and ill-fitting. I couldn’t even get my pants up my thighs! Putting a damper on things I had to find something else to wear. Of course it was not what I really wanted to wear, but I had to settle. I hate settling.

So I head out with an outfit that I am not comfortable in. I think it had something to do with not wanting to make a first impression in ‘this’ outfit. It wasn’t bad, it was just there. Anyhow, I head out, walk over to the bank machine to get some cash only to get rejected. Not in service! No worries, I will go to the next functioning bank machine. Hmmm where is the next functioning bank machine. NO ONE KNEW! I asked everyone! Not to waste anymore time, I quickly head to the subway station, via my feet in some tight shoes.

I finally get to a bank machine, retrieve some money and stand in line at the subway station. For some unforeseen reason there was a huge lineup. At this point, I am pressed for time. I rush over to the other side and it wasn’t too bad. Except for the foreign couple having problems with directions. Patiently I stand as the teller gives directions to the couple. Of course if I didn’t need to purchase a pass I would have been on my merry way. (Hmmm I just realized something!)

So I wait and wait, they finish, then the next couple same thing! They took a good 3minutes cackling with the teller like it was a damn joke standing up in that line. Then the women in front of me! I swear she was walking right through and then she stops. I don’t know if she recognized the teller but they both start talking in their dialect. So me, BraveStar, decides to drop in a quarter and walk thru.

Trust me when I say this is not something that I do. Even when I know that I won’t get caught. But I lost my patience. I wasn’t even scared or concern about the consequences. I did it with not a care or fear in the world. And for someone like me with nervous energy, this even caught me by surprised.

So of course the teller bangs on the window and yells after me. He started barking about me only dropping in a quarter. I deny it of course.

I should have told the truth. But for some reason I couldn’t. I don’t know why I did that, but I did.

He started yelling at me to come back thru the line, and me the dummy, obliged. I went and stood in the long line like a real jackass! I finally get to the window and yell at him. Yes I was at fault, but I didn’t want to admit it. What gets me is that I boldly looked him in the eye and lied! I told him that I drop the correct amount of $2.75. He corrected me by saying I only dropped $0.25.

Impatient and embarrassed, I decided to get mouthy. So after telling him a couple of choice words I reach into my bag, and sadly find change lurking in the bottom of my bag! ARGH! If I only knew! I didn’t even realize I had CHANGE! About $8.00 or so in change. And of course my temperament got the best of me and I dropped it all in.

I feel like a jackass... The interview fell thru, I called and cancelled; cause not only was I running late, I was pissed. I didn't want to go in angry. It would have been better if I went in with the ill-fitting clothes, then to go in angry.

Next time, if there ever is one, I will have to exercise patience and fessed up when I am wrong. And I was wrong. Hmmm... I guess there are more things that I need to learn.

OH and the thing that I realized while I was typing this... is that I could have went to the stupid machine and purchased a pass from there!!!!!! I KNOW I KNOW!!!