July 31, 2008
July 29, 2008
The Waiting Game...
I have been low-key lately waiting for the arrival of baby Gabby. I was real nervous at first and now I am just loosing my patience. That child is crapping my style. She needs to come out yesterday!
Don’t get me wrong.. I am more than anxious. I can’t wait. I think there is absolutely nothing more that needs to be done in preparation. Funny enough, all the prepping was done within the last couple of days.. talk about last minute and not utilizing the 9 month period.
Chilentia is a sight to see, she can barely move. Her present state convinces me more and more that I need a surrogate mother. I have never feel sadden to see a pregnant woman until her last days.
Well for now the countdown continues. But it will happen anyday now.
I am just going to have to wait for when she is ready. I don't believe in pushing babies into doing anything. So I hope Chilentia does not get induced.
Which reminds me of a question someone posed to me the other day. She asked me if I thought it was wise to force feed babies that don't eat? I found that quite distrubing.
Don’t get me wrong.. I am more than anxious. I can’t wait. I think there is absolutely nothing more that needs to be done in preparation. Funny enough, all the prepping was done within the last couple of days.. talk about last minute and not utilizing the 9 month period.
Chilentia is a sight to see, she can barely move. Her present state convinces me more and more that I need a surrogate mother. I have never feel sadden to see a pregnant woman until her last days.
Well for now the countdown continues. But it will happen anyday now.
I am just going to have to wait for when she is ready. I don't believe in pushing babies into doing anything. So I hope Chilentia does not get induced.
Which reminds me of a question someone posed to me the other day. She asked me if I thought it was wise to force feed babies that don't eat? I found that quite distrubing.
I will keep you posted... Camera and bag in hand.... this should be an event!
July 28, 2008
TIME AND PLACE!
There is a time and place for EVERYTHING. I mean EVERYTHING. I can't think of one thing, besides praying that you don't have to consider the surrounding environment or the people involved.
Case 1:
Went to a funeral this past weekend. Long story short, there was this fella that I couldn't remember and he was trying to talk to me. Not that there is anything wrong with trying to refresh my memory and ask me why he has not heard from me. But I think it is completely tactless when you are standing outside with the down pouring of rain.. (and I mean DOWNPOUR.. to the point that you feel like you can't breathe) and you are standing by a gravesite!!! Like for real!!! Are you serious?!?!?! We are about to bury someone and you are going to start asking me questions?! Get the heck outta here.
Case 2:
I really don't like mixing business with pleasure. I especially don't like to start relations with people at work, especially if I like my job. Which I do. So don't try to pursue anything with me, especially when I don't show any interest in you other than work. A couple of days ago, this fella who I see from time to time at work came up to me and offered to take me out for dinner. I declined even went as far as to tell him that my heart belongs to someone else and I can't find any interest in going out with anyone, even for dinner. He persist and I smile, decline, and walk away. Next day he shows up at my desk with him number written down on a folded piece of paper and walks off mouthing, "call me". I have since bumped into him at least 4 times. Each time he ask "why haven't you called me?". I have told him every time "I have no intent on calling you sorry".
Today, while I was talking with my manager and the medical director this fool shows up. And if you would believe it, in front of them he starts badgering me about calling him. Manager thought he was cute, director joined in on the fun... I tried not to react or take the situation all that serious because I could tell they didn't know to what extent this fool was serious. But I was not impressed to say the least.
Case 3:
Been taking the train for the past week, this gas prices have me bugging. Sudoku and ipod in hand, I always find a place for my mind to drift off to. Based on my other scenarios you can only guess where I am getting at. Yes... as I sat on the PACKED train minding my own, some Casanova decides to stand in front of me, PULL OUT MY EARPHONES and insist on helping me solve my puzzle. Then starts telling me about all kinds of ways he can "'pleasure' my mind"????????? HUH? "PLEASURE" my mind... wow!
TIME AND PLACE!!! I don't want to write anymore.
Case 1:
Went to a funeral this past weekend. Long story short, there was this fella that I couldn't remember and he was trying to talk to me. Not that there is anything wrong with trying to refresh my memory and ask me why he has not heard from me. But I think it is completely tactless when you are standing outside with the down pouring of rain.. (and I mean DOWNPOUR.. to the point that you feel like you can't breathe) and you are standing by a gravesite!!! Like for real!!! Are you serious?!?!?! We are about to bury someone and you are going to start asking me questions?! Get the heck outta here.
Case 2:
I really don't like mixing business with pleasure. I especially don't like to start relations with people at work, especially if I like my job. Which I do. So don't try to pursue anything with me, especially when I don't show any interest in you other than work. A couple of days ago, this fella who I see from time to time at work came up to me and offered to take me out for dinner. I declined even went as far as to tell him that my heart belongs to someone else and I can't find any interest in going out with anyone, even for dinner. He persist and I smile, decline, and walk away. Next day he shows up at my desk with him number written down on a folded piece of paper and walks off mouthing, "call me". I have since bumped into him at least 4 times. Each time he ask "why haven't you called me?". I have told him every time "I have no intent on calling you sorry".
Today, while I was talking with my manager and the medical director this fool shows up. And if you would believe it, in front of them he starts badgering me about calling him. Manager thought he was cute, director joined in on the fun... I tried not to react or take the situation all that serious because I could tell they didn't know to what extent this fool was serious. But I was not impressed to say the least.
Case 3:
Been taking the train for the past week, this gas prices have me bugging. Sudoku and ipod in hand, I always find a place for my mind to drift off to. Based on my other scenarios you can only guess where I am getting at. Yes... as I sat on the PACKED train minding my own, some Casanova decides to stand in front of me, PULL OUT MY EARPHONES and insist on helping me solve my puzzle. Then starts telling me about all kinds of ways he can "'pleasure' my mind"????????? HUH? "PLEASURE" my mind... wow!
TIME AND PLACE!!! I don't want to write anymore.
July 24, 2008
July 23, 2008
In Today's Forecast....
I am so sick of this bloody weather. I think there should be a law passed that whenever the weather is broadcast, that the anchormen or network should be held accountable when the weather doesn’t occur the way they say.
I had a meeting yesterday and I have been working my butt off for the past couple of days to prepare for it. I was informed that a certain individual was going to be in attendance and I wanted to make a real good impression. I want to get my foot in the door with, so I thought of this being a way to make a good impression.
The night before I checked the weather forecast and it indicated that there was going to be “variable cloudiness” and 26C. Not bad that is something I can deal with. So I picked out my outfit, black button down dress, gold belt and open toed heels! (I rarely wear heels so you know this was serious). Started the straightening process with my hair so my naps would stay in tacked (black women you know what’s up).
In the morning there was a little bit of cloud but the sun was peaking out. Checked the weather again and it said there going to be “cloudy periods”. Nothing has really changed. Got dressed put the finishing touches on my hair, got all my stuff and was out.
I head into the city early so I could run a couple of errands before the meeting. I met up with “Fish Fry” (hahah… sorry but that’s all I could think of and that story was funny.. write about it later). Fish Fry and I went over each other’s material and felt real confident about the meeting.
We quickly grabbed a bite to eat.. nothing like meeting up on an empty stomach. We went to this wrap joint a couple of blocks away from the meeting spot, only to come out and see black clouds. WT.. HECK!? These clouds looked ridiculous. We walked onto the main street to head to the meeting. Not even a minute later… there was a down pour. The rain was coming down real hard.
We were able to find shelter but not quick enough… my hair ruined! My dress… soaked… my feet wet! Oh hell. Fish Fry looked at me and I knew it wasn’t good.
We jumped into a cab and got to building where the meeting was held. It was a good 45 minutes before it started, so I went into the ladies room to fix myself up. I kick off my shoes, looked in the mirror and was horrified. I looked like ass! My dressed was soaked, thank goodness it was black. I could feel the wetness all the way thru my underclothes. My hair.. I don’t even know what to say. It was hideous. My straight hair was now a pile of naps. Tiny curls peaking out and frizziness all over. I looked like a wet poodle that’s body was shaved down and there was nothing else but puffy hair up top.
I unbuttoned the top portion of my dress and placed it under the hand dryer. Patted toilet paper on my hair and put my head under the dryer when I thought how silly I was being. Well the hand dryer just made dry patches on my dress and made my hair even more frizzy. I give up. Fish Fry knocked on the door and told me to hurry my ass up.
I am at a lost… I put my shoes back on only to realize that they were soaking wet inside the sole. Went into my bag to get out a brush, only to spot my work dripping wet. Rainwater everywhere!
I wanted to cry… I dragged my feet, stepped out of the ladies room and looked at Fish Fry. He looked at me and said… “Not bad, are you still wet?” He looked good, if it wasn’t for the smell of rain on him I wouldn't have known he had gotten wet.
Just as soon as I was about to start complaining. “BM” walks by. Oh my… We told him how we got caught out in the rain. He smiled brushed it off, and invited us into his office. I was feeling at ease about the whole incident until I realize that we were not the only ones in the room. GREAT!
BM and a couple of his associates, so of them I recognized. Everyone got up and introduced themselves. I was so uncomfortable. Meeting people for the first time and I am soaking wet with frizzy hair and my shoes were making that wet squishy noise. Nice added touch.
I smiled through it, and held up decent conversation. Let’s just say through it all that they were a wonderful group of people and I think it went over real well. It rained all day until the next morning. I am still trying to find a way to sue the weather networks.
I had a meeting yesterday and I have been working my butt off for the past couple of days to prepare for it. I was informed that a certain individual was going to be in attendance and I wanted to make a real good impression. I want to get my foot in the door with, so I thought of this being a way to make a good impression.
The night before I checked the weather forecast and it indicated that there was going to be “variable cloudiness” and 26C. Not bad that is something I can deal with. So I picked out my outfit, black button down dress, gold belt and open toed heels! (I rarely wear heels so you know this was serious). Started the straightening process with my hair so my naps would stay in tacked (black women you know what’s up).
In the morning there was a little bit of cloud but the sun was peaking out. Checked the weather again and it said there going to be “cloudy periods”. Nothing has really changed. Got dressed put the finishing touches on my hair, got all my stuff and was out.
I head into the city early so I could run a couple of errands before the meeting. I met up with “Fish Fry” (hahah… sorry but that’s all I could think of and that story was funny.. write about it later). Fish Fry and I went over each other’s material and felt real confident about the meeting.
We quickly grabbed a bite to eat.. nothing like meeting up on an empty stomach. We went to this wrap joint a couple of blocks away from the meeting spot, only to come out and see black clouds. WT.. HECK!? These clouds looked ridiculous. We walked onto the main street to head to the meeting. Not even a minute later… there was a down pour. The rain was coming down real hard.
We were able to find shelter but not quick enough… my hair ruined! My dress… soaked… my feet wet! Oh hell. Fish Fry looked at me and I knew it wasn’t good.
We jumped into a cab and got to building where the meeting was held. It was a good 45 minutes before it started, so I went into the ladies room to fix myself up. I kick off my shoes, looked in the mirror and was horrified. I looked like ass! My dressed was soaked, thank goodness it was black. I could feel the wetness all the way thru my underclothes. My hair.. I don’t even know what to say. It was hideous. My straight hair was now a pile of naps. Tiny curls peaking out and frizziness all over. I looked like a wet poodle that’s body was shaved down and there was nothing else but puffy hair up top.
I unbuttoned the top portion of my dress and placed it under the hand dryer. Patted toilet paper on my hair and put my head under the dryer when I thought how silly I was being. Well the hand dryer just made dry patches on my dress and made my hair even more frizzy. I give up. Fish Fry knocked on the door and told me to hurry my ass up.
I am at a lost… I put my shoes back on only to realize that they were soaking wet inside the sole. Went into my bag to get out a brush, only to spot my work dripping wet. Rainwater everywhere!
I wanted to cry… I dragged my feet, stepped out of the ladies room and looked at Fish Fry. He looked at me and said… “Not bad, are you still wet?” He looked good, if it wasn’t for the smell of rain on him I wouldn't have known he had gotten wet.
Just as soon as I was about to start complaining. “BM” walks by. Oh my… We told him how we got caught out in the rain. He smiled brushed it off, and invited us into his office. I was feeling at ease about the whole incident until I realize that we were not the only ones in the room. GREAT!
BM and a couple of his associates, so of them I recognized. Everyone got up and introduced themselves. I was so uncomfortable. Meeting people for the first time and I am soaking wet with frizzy hair and my shoes were making that wet squishy noise. Nice added touch.
I smiled through it, and held up decent conversation. Let’s just say through it all that they were a wonderful group of people and I think it went over real well. It rained all day until the next morning. I am still trying to find a way to sue the weather networks.
FOOFS!
FOOFS! In regards to you comments.. I couldn't agree more. But I am working on my other blog and I think you will enjoy it immensely.
But I am want to let the world know at this moment that you have celebrated another milestone.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Dinner and drinks on me... I hope McDonald's doesn't upset your stomach as much as it does mine!
Love you... all the best... and from the sounds of it... WE NEED TO TALK!
But I am want to let the world know at this moment that you have celebrated another milestone.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Dinner and drinks on me... I hope McDonald's doesn't upset your stomach as much as it does mine!
Love you... all the best... and from the sounds of it... WE NEED TO TALK!
July 20, 2008
Knowing the difference
These past few days I have realized the importance of the Evolution of Man. The art of evolving into something and not remain stagnant and complacent. This day marks a period where I change the importance of being completely comfortable to wanting to be about something and making evolution be "thy way".
I have always had this philosophy of never looking back. I guess that’s why I always insist on putting issues on the table and dealing with them before moving on. I have been true to this philosophy so far… never looked back with anyone, even at the present moment with MMI. But as many of you know… or have lectured me about… LOML has always been in the back of my mind. But hopefully, I pray with the current events this ends that chapter.
I have now demoted LOML to Distant Lust. I know how FICKLE! I am only human. But before anyone gets too excited I have realized what it may be. It’s not physical lust, (most of you know that and what’s that about). Not mental lust… nor "bliss" lust. It's "Lust of the essence" of him, I guess. Or, at this present moment, lust of what I fantasized him to be.
I knew from when I started with him again, that I would have to learn him all over again. That I would have to put the past behind and start fresh. And I was more than willing to do that. But after the events that occurred… (don’t feel like getting into that at the moment) I have realized he is not even close to what I remember or what I would love for him to be. Sure the laughter is still there, the enjoyment of each others company and comfort is there. But the things that I have learned to value in a relationship is not.
I have evolved in many ways, but our relationship has not. Its like things have never changed, but they have. Our relationship is like how it was 10 years ago, a bloody “teenage love affair”, being played out with adults. No sense is it? So what sense does it make that we involve ourselves in this; but that we crave or ‘lust’ after what we thought was, and what we hope it to be.
One day I will be mature enough to know and authentically realize who and what a Love of My Life would be, but at this present moment I must stand and come to terms with the difference love and lust. The value and difference between loving someone and being IN love. Love does not equate to lust; nor will it make lust flourish into what it is.
I have always had this philosophy of never looking back. I guess that’s why I always insist on putting issues on the table and dealing with them before moving on. I have been true to this philosophy so far… never looked back with anyone, even at the present moment with MMI. But as many of you know… or have lectured me about… LOML has always been in the back of my mind. But hopefully, I pray with the current events this ends that chapter.
I have now demoted LOML to Distant Lust. I know how FICKLE! I am only human. But before anyone gets too excited I have realized what it may be. It’s not physical lust, (most of you know that and what’s that about). Not mental lust… nor "bliss" lust. It's "Lust of the essence" of him, I guess. Or, at this present moment, lust of what I fantasized him to be.
I knew from when I started with him again, that I would have to learn him all over again. That I would have to put the past behind and start fresh. And I was more than willing to do that. But after the events that occurred… (don’t feel like getting into that at the moment) I have realized he is not even close to what I remember or what I would love for him to be. Sure the laughter is still there, the enjoyment of each others company and comfort is there. But the things that I have learned to value in a relationship is not.
I have evolved in many ways, but our relationship has not. Its like things have never changed, but they have. Our relationship is like how it was 10 years ago, a bloody “teenage love affair”, being played out with adults. No sense is it? So what sense does it make that we involve ourselves in this; but that we crave or ‘lust’ after what we thought was, and what we hope it to be.
One day I will be mature enough to know and authentically realize who and what a Love of My Life would be, but at this present moment I must stand and come to terms with the difference love and lust. The value and difference between loving someone and being IN love. Love does not equate to lust; nor will it make lust flourish into what it is.
July 14, 2008
a message from "LOML"
Ok...so I'm a man and I've made mistakes. I used to have regrets until I realized that Jah Jah doesn't make any mistakes; I guess mine are just learning experiences. The key seems to be to learn from these experiences and not venture the same situations facing the same decisions. This is the kicker cause I am one who hates to burn bridges. It's not like that old LTD track where "everytime I choose I lose...." but the same people end up wanting the same thing.
How often is it one is called the "LOML"? The history of it all starts back in '97. From a far away place came a beautiful, young, pure, soul. With her innocence in hand there seemed to be little room for corruption. She fell for a small town country boy hence her future "LOML" and he in turn had a problem with the distance. He gave it a shot. What harm could it do right? Remember her innocence was in hand until the next visit the following year of '98. No room for that stuff anymore...she had her purse on her shoulder and her heart in her palms.
Now here it is...a young fragile heart passed as an offering to this small town country boy, but now his mind is in a different space. He is no longer concerned about the distance cause he has a new occupation which little known to her keeps him from spending time dating anyone nearby. A long distance relationship at this time is perfect. But there is something lingering in the back of his mind.
How often is it one is called the "LOML"? The history of it all starts back in '97. From a far away place came a beautiful, young, pure, soul. With her innocence in hand there seemed to be little room for corruption. She fell for a small town country boy hence her future "LOML" and he in turn had a problem with the distance. He gave it a shot. What harm could it do right? Remember her innocence was in hand until the next visit the following year of '98. No room for that stuff anymore...she had her purse on her shoulder and her heart in her palms.
Now here it is...a young fragile heart passed as an offering to this small town country boy, but now his mind is in a different space. He is no longer concerned about the distance cause he has a new occupation which little known to her keeps him from spending time dating anyone nearby. A long distance relationship at this time is perfect. But there is something lingering in the back of his mind.
July 10, 2008
You Can't Handle The Truth
Nothing can be more accurate at times then knowing that there are certain truths that you cannot handle. As brutally honest as I can be at times there are things, just like anyone else, that I don’t like hearing about myself. I know what my faults are… but to hear them from someone else always stings..especially when you are not ready to hear them.
I was wallowing in pity and just in a severe funk and I had to find a reason to get dressed and out. Q!, with his impeccable timing had given me a call. Considering I have not seen him in months and missed his birthday; I told him that I would cook some food and chill out with him for a bit. Knowing that his ass has been overly preoccupied I know he probably hasn’t had a decent home cooked meal in awhile. At the end of my story he still doesn’t.
I made some rice, curry goat and veggies, placed them in some dishes and started to get ready. (I hate smelling like food) As soon as I was ready I called up Q! for directions, gave him my approximate time of arrival to be within 30 to 45 minutes. Feeling good and rejuvenated and glad to finally be stepping out of the house I head downstairs only to find my family indulging in the food that I set aside. Ahh… I was not upset.. it was only food. I counted my lost and thought of a plan B. DUCKY’S…
Ducky’s by far has the best roti on the west end. So I hurried on over there only to find out that they were closed. Closed at 8pm on a Saturday… ridiculous I thought. Well since their asses don’t feel like working on a Saturday I will head out to the Portuguese spot next door… Closed… Thai… closed… India… closed… WTF!? At that point I realized why I don’t do anything in the west end. It was already 15 minutes in and I had no food. That’s alright I will just head into the city and grab something there.
Long story short, I got stuck in traffic, finally get to an Italian spot, order, only to realize that I forgot my wallet. Go figure. Welcome to my world.
Q! was quite understanding.. then again he expected it. I was an hour late, with no food, and he greeted me with a warm embrace. (Understanding friends are hard to come by). We ended up ordering some Vietnamese across the street.
The night consisted of food, laughter, and of course “what have you got yourself into now Jinx” moments. I hate those moments with Q!.. he is merciless and can usually get to the inner core. He hurts real bad sometimes. But sometimes you need that. You need people in your life to tell you that you are f*&@ing up and making some whack decisions.
After leaving Q!’s he had convinced me that I am not really taking the time to really do what’s best for me in several situations. Not only that but he is more convinced now more than ever that I need therapy. Therapy??? Am I that bad??? Well according to him and others therapy is not only for crazy people or people who can’t cope and people “like” me can really benefit from it. Hmmmm…..
But I don’t want to think that my life and love decisions warrant a visit in the chair. Who knows… maybe I do need it. In the meantime I am just going to have to cope with what I can, and vent to whomever will listen.
Well at this moment all I can hear are his words and the thoughts that I haven’t been allowing myself to feel. It’s to the point that I am ready to just throw in the towel and start from scratch. My mind is telling me know… but my soul is telling me it’s time for change.
I was wallowing in pity and just in a severe funk and I had to find a reason to get dressed and out. Q!, with his impeccable timing had given me a call. Considering I have not seen him in months and missed his birthday; I told him that I would cook some food and chill out with him for a bit. Knowing that his ass has been overly preoccupied I know he probably hasn’t had a decent home cooked meal in awhile. At the end of my story he still doesn’t.
I made some rice, curry goat and veggies, placed them in some dishes and started to get ready. (I hate smelling like food) As soon as I was ready I called up Q! for directions, gave him my approximate time of arrival to be within 30 to 45 minutes. Feeling good and rejuvenated and glad to finally be stepping out of the house I head downstairs only to find my family indulging in the food that I set aside. Ahh… I was not upset.. it was only food. I counted my lost and thought of a plan B. DUCKY’S…
Ducky’s by far has the best roti on the west end. So I hurried on over there only to find out that they were closed. Closed at 8pm on a Saturday… ridiculous I thought. Well since their asses don’t feel like working on a Saturday I will head out to the Portuguese spot next door… Closed… Thai… closed… India… closed… WTF!? At that point I realized why I don’t do anything in the west end. It was already 15 minutes in and I had no food. That’s alright I will just head into the city and grab something there.
Long story short, I got stuck in traffic, finally get to an Italian spot, order, only to realize that I forgot my wallet. Go figure. Welcome to my world.
Q! was quite understanding.. then again he expected it. I was an hour late, with no food, and he greeted me with a warm embrace. (Understanding friends are hard to come by). We ended up ordering some Vietnamese across the street.
The night consisted of food, laughter, and of course “what have you got yourself into now Jinx” moments. I hate those moments with Q!.. he is merciless and can usually get to the inner core. He hurts real bad sometimes. But sometimes you need that. You need people in your life to tell you that you are f*&@ing up and making some whack decisions.
After leaving Q!’s he had convinced me that I am not really taking the time to really do what’s best for me in several situations. Not only that but he is more convinced now more than ever that I need therapy. Therapy??? Am I that bad??? Well according to him and others therapy is not only for crazy people or people who can’t cope and people “like” me can really benefit from it. Hmmmm…..
But I don’t want to think that my life and love decisions warrant a visit in the chair. Who knows… maybe I do need it. In the meantime I am just going to have to cope with what I can, and vent to whomever will listen.
Well at this moment all I can hear are his words and the thoughts that I haven’t been allowing myself to feel. It’s to the point that I am ready to just throw in the towel and start from scratch. My mind is telling me know… but my soul is telling me it’s time for change.
July 4, 2008
Knowing When
The hardest thing about love is just knowing when. Knowing when to shut up, put up a fight, let things go, bringing things to the forefront, making peace and going to bed angry (sometimes its for the best).
These last couple of months have been hard lessons for me. With me and my ex “Me, Myself and I” (MMI) and LOML. I don’t think any emotional woman such as myself should have to go through so much. Me being me, always finds ways to embellish emotions and take it to extremes. Me being me, always wants things my way. Me being me, wants the best of everything. And of course me being me, doesn’t think that there is anything wrong with any of that. But in a relationship there is. There shouldn’t be any me’s… and I’s. You think I would have learnt that lesson from MMI… he was the epitome of ME and I…. (hence the name). I don’t think I have ever met anyone who was so self-centered and for a slight moment I reared the same ugly head.
LOML and I have come to this fork in the road… each path taking us in different directions. One with and without each other. It’s a hard thing to even think about. Of course if I could have things MY way… this wouldn’t be happening. Things would work out exactly as I have planned it out. Everything from our successful careers, to our flourishing businesses, and the bad ass kids that we raise.
I just want the best for both of us, and the realization is that might be in separate directions. I know we love each other and that’s what makes it so hard. We are each others halves… literally. Our birthdays cut right down the calendar on opposite ends… (astrologers don’t comment).
I am just coming to realize that this may be one of those “when” moments. And that really, really sucks. I wouldn’t want either one of us to have to suffer, or compromise everything to the state of regret. I wouldn’t want us to not be realistic about our relationship. I want us the be the badest *$%@ing thing to every grace any room, street or town. We would be practically invincible when together. Like a bionic duo, conquering the world with nothing but love. Silly isn’t it… but that is us. That is what we would be.
Wow ‘we’… I said it… thought it… and felt it. Now if it could only happen “I” would be thrilled… :P Just kidding… but no seriously I would.
These last couple of months have been hard lessons for me. With me and my ex “Me, Myself and I” (MMI) and LOML. I don’t think any emotional woman such as myself should have to go through so much. Me being me, always finds ways to embellish emotions and take it to extremes. Me being me, always wants things my way. Me being me, wants the best of everything. And of course me being me, doesn’t think that there is anything wrong with any of that. But in a relationship there is. There shouldn’t be any me’s… and I’s. You think I would have learnt that lesson from MMI… he was the epitome of ME and I…. (hence the name). I don’t think I have ever met anyone who was so self-centered and for a slight moment I reared the same ugly head.
LOML and I have come to this fork in the road… each path taking us in different directions. One with and without each other. It’s a hard thing to even think about. Of course if I could have things MY way… this wouldn’t be happening. Things would work out exactly as I have planned it out. Everything from our successful careers, to our flourishing businesses, and the bad ass kids that we raise.
I just want the best for both of us, and the realization is that might be in separate directions. I know we love each other and that’s what makes it so hard. We are each others halves… literally. Our birthdays cut right down the calendar on opposite ends… (astrologers don’t comment).
I am just coming to realize that this may be one of those “when” moments. And that really, really sucks. I wouldn’t want either one of us to have to suffer, or compromise everything to the state of regret. I wouldn’t want us to not be realistic about our relationship. I want us the be the badest *$%@ing thing to every grace any room, street or town. We would be practically invincible when together. Like a bionic duo, conquering the world with nothing but love. Silly isn’t it… but that is us. That is what we would be.
Wow ‘we’… I said it… thought it… and felt it. Now if it could only happen “I” would be thrilled… :P Just kidding… but no seriously I would.
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